


Nova

by blessende



Series: Searching for Levi [8]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Coming of Age, Delusions, Guardian-Ward Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 20:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessende/pseuds/blessende
Summary: There was a time when laughter came easy. There was a time when his entire world comprised of calculus homework, never-gonna-finish-this deadlines or spent walking tightrope between flunking and passing grades. There was a time when mothers were supposed to be immortal and when falling in love was like playing Russian roulette.And then, the curtains fall. The age of naivety passes. That's how he remembered his eighteenth year.Set in the Searching for Levi universe. Year 2008.





	1. Emptiness

Chapter-1- Emptiness

~.~

 

Titan Army Headquarters, Trost.

2008

 

Through the standard bulletin announcements and the _clip-clop_ of shoes clicking against the floor, two trainees stood in a corner of Trost HQ, playing rock, paper and scissors in secrecy. It was an odd sight, and the Titans had never seen a more peculiar game. They didn't understand the rules, the gestures or why the boys were chanting the same string of words over and over again. The older of the two, a freckled boy, a Titan himself, let out a laugh of whimsy when his opponent's paper lost to his scissors. For the third time in a row, bringing the game to an effective end.

'I win once again,' said Marco softly. He withdrew his hand, stuffed it into the pocket of his PeaceCorp jacket and leaned against the wall, a knowing smile playing at his lips.

Marco's companion— a boy with sunlit skin and bright eyes looked down and glared at his offending fingers. Defeat didn't come easy to a certain Eren Jaeger. He liked losing as much as Keith Shadis was fond of eyebrows (or the lack thereof.)

'You know what's not fair, Marco?' the younger said, scowling. 'The fact that I teach you guys a game, and you beat me at it,' grumbled the peacekeeper from Earth. 'Every single fucking time.’

Marco ducked his head and gave a nervous look around. 'Word of advice, Eren. You might want to watch your language,’ he said. ‘The walls here are paper thin.'

Eren quirked up an eyebrow.

‘Why?’ he asked skeptically. ‘What's the worst they could do? Give us more toilet duty?' Eren scoffed, giving a glance around him and finding the corridor empty despite Marco’s misgivings. 'Trust me on this, Freckles. There are people here who have a fouler mouth than I do.'

Here, Marco’s attention turned piqued. He wasn’t a bully. But nor was he someone to let an opportunity slide especially when it came to teasing Eren. In the end, that's what good friends did. Good friends shouldered your troubles, knew the right thing to say when you were at your lowest and... if by some stroke of mad luck, they found out about your adorable little schoolboy crush, they made sure to raise Cain and have everyone know about it. Eren found that out the hard way.

Eren caught the mischief in Marco's eyes.

'Fouler mouth, huh?’ the freckled boy echoed.’ Uh, are we...' Marco paused, leaning forward. '–-Are we talking about a certain superior who shall remain nameless?'

Caught off guard, Eren turned sullen and shot Marco a dirty look.

'You just have to bring him up, don't you? That joke gets old real fast.'

Marco's smile never left his face. He winked.

‘You know the funny part, Eren?' Marco confided. 'It wasn't really a joke.'

Eren avoided Marco's all-seeing-eye and averted his gaze in embarrassment. That faint prickling of his heart returned, the Russian roulette began to spin again, and Eren fought the urge to smile. Instead, he sneaked a glance at the entrance of Gateway Control Room. The digital clock on top of the door announced '9:42'. Which meant, he still had eight minutes to kill. Eight minutes before he said goodbye to Marco. Eight minutes before he could return to his designated 'earthbound duties'. He turned to his friend and found the fellow PeaceCorp still smiling.

Eren cast him a look of exasperation.

'Oh, c’mon. Are we still on that?' Eren bleated indignantly. 'There is nothing going on between me and him. Nothing. ZILCH, okay?' the boy sighed as he looked back at the door. 'He’s my state sanctioned guardian, and I... well, I don't know what the hell I’m supposed to be. Some stray he’s forced to look after. Or worse, the slime he’s not able to get rid of. Yeah, that's probably it.' Eren’s shoulders sagged, and he scowled at the mental image. 'The chewing gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. Yep. That's me alright.'

Marco stopped the teasing and reached out to squeeze Eren’s shoulder.

'You’re being too hard on yourself. I bet he doesn't think that way.'

The brunet rolled his eyes.

'Right. That's what you think. I went to see him yesterday, and he kicked me out. Like _literally_. His exact words to me were 'I’m not your babysitter, slimeball. Get out of my office. And the next time you want to see me, get a fucking appointment.' All his words, not mine.’

Eren nailed down the impression so well, Marco burst out laughing.

'I... feel you, Jaeger. I do feel where you're coming from.'

Eren grimaced at the memory and crossed his arms, feeling more rankled than ever. 'I don't think he left any room to argue there. That's exactly how he sees me. A pest. A really annoying pest. I mean, it's not like I asked him to kiss me or something.'

Marco scratched his chin thoughtfully.

'Did you?' he asked point-blank.

Eren looked at the freckled boy, aghast.

'No, of course I didn’t! Okay, that’s it! We are _done_ talking about this. So done.'

Marco said nothing, but his eyes remained lit in boyish humor. The two trainees remained huddled in their corner, eyes flicking to the clock every now and then. Four minutes, Eren counted. Four minutes were all that he had. Four minutes before the distances stretched into improbabilities, before nothing became infinity. In the silence of their corner, they heard the screech of doors closing shut and military boots trampling down aisles.

'Tell me something, Eren,' Marco spoke up, his voice carrying a measure of sobriety now. 'Is it so important?'

Eren, who’d been lost in thought, turned to his friend sharply.

'Huh?'

The freckled boy shrugged. 'What he thinks of you— is it so important?'

Eren shuffled his feet as he mulled over the question.

'To be honest, I don't understand why myself.'

Marco watched him quietly, his gaze growing considerate.

‘Let me rephrase that better. What exactly is your relationship?’

Eren paused and then shook his head. ‘Marco, there is nothing going on between us. Really. The farthest I ever got to was second base and the guy wasn't even awake. As far as I’m concerned, he likes to pretend I don't exist. So yeah. There you have it. That’s my relationship status. Newton’s first law! An object at rest stays at rest!’

Eren glared into the distance and straightened the duffel bag on his shoulder. His eye caught the clock on top of the door again. It was 00:00, which meant his cue to leave.

‘Well, time’s up. I gotta leave now.’

With dampened spirits, he turned to Marco and reached out to shake his friend's hand. A handshake that went from a fist bump to a full-fledged hug.

'I am gonna miss you on the other side,' Eren said, giving Marco a tap on the arm. 'Okay, big guy. You won the game fair and square so what will it be? Name your tribute. What do you want me to bring from my world next time?'

Marco crossed his arms and thought it over, looking as serious as a gourmet critic at a buffet table.

'Those tacos, for one thing,' the freckled boy trailed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

'Uh huh? Anything else?'

'And the pizza you keep talking on and on about.'

Eren broke into a laugh.

'So, it's going to be a list, huh? Be warned, I’m not sure I can sneak in so much stuff through customs.'

Marco snapped his fingers as he remembered something more.

'And a book on the Galapagos islands! Almost forgot about that. I was reading up on Cormorants, and I need to know more. Such fascinating birds—'

Eren sighed and gave a wry shake of his head.

‘Seriously, Marco. You know more about my planet than I do.’

 

 

 

 

Gateway landings were supposed to be classier than this. Considering Eren's ability to turn the most graceful of maneuvers into a crash and burn accident, he landed headfirst in the woodlands outside Sylvan. The eighteen-year-old spat out tufts of grass and looked up just in time, to see the last vestiges of Titan's arch vanishing. There it went.

The passage to that other world.

The passage to Titan.

Eren remained on the ground, basking in the view of the clear blue sky and the lush green around him— it was a sight for sore eyes. The sound of cicadas cut through the woods; he could hear the chickadees too from their nests. The air tickled his nose; there was no exhaust here, no stench of training corp dormitories or the need for air filtering units. Yeah, this was... home. Raw and unbroken with a dash of spectacular. He greeted his world with a nostalgic smile before forcing himself up on his elbows.

The brunet sat up and brushed the grass off from his checked shirt and jeans, doing his last bit to look presentable. He threw the duffel bag over his shoulder, and picking himself up from the ground, he began making his way out of the woods.

Eren knew these woods, alright. He knew them like the back of his hand, having spent a large part of his childhood camping around this place. There was the half fallen oak tree. The funny looking rock shaped like a monk. Half a mile up, and he ought to reach the highway. And hopefully (the keyword being hopefully), he should be able to hitchhike his way to the suburbs without attracting too much attention. But his troubles wouldn't end there; there would still be much explaining to do. He would have to fend off his best friend Armin Arlert, the nosy boy sleuth. And then, there was his mom with her litanies and questions. Where had he been? Where was this oh-so-elusive military school of his? And why couldn't he take a phone with him? He tried to picture the relief on his mother's face. Would he find her worried sick? He tried to remember the way she'd pull him into that giant bear hug of hers, the hug that he was too old for.

But life never went according to plan.

For one expects the world to remain as you left it. The bonsai on your windowsill ought not to have grown to twice its size. There shouldn't be a monstrous construction site where the pizza joint had once been. The community boxing club wasn't supposed to be closed and boarded up. And that cat you used to feed on the way home from school... wasn't supposed to have a litter of kittens of its own. But that’s the whole trouble. Time didn't stay still when you were gone.

Neither did people.

As Eren observed from the tag on Hannes uniform. The friendly officer had been the one to pull over, looking at the boy with his sunken eyes and a grizzly face with the map of Utah scratched all over it. He would have been handsome if he hadn’t fallen in love with the bottle. Of all the people Eren could hitchhike with, it would seem fate decided to send Hannes his way. The old geezer pulled down the cruiser's window and greeted Eren with a dopey smile.

‘Look who it is!’

Eren was still staring at Hannes' shiny new tag.

The boy made a face as he read the designation.

'You got promoted?' trailed Eren. 'You've got to be fucking kidding me!'

Hannes raised a hand and tapped the badge, looking proud and smug.

‘That’s right. Gawk all you want but it’s here to stay.’

Eren looked on in disbelief.

'What did you do? Save the president’s daughter? Stop a bomb from going off?'

Hannes frowned, clearly unimpressed by the dig.

'Yeah, yeah, hello to you too, twerp. I'll have you know, kid, that my promotion was long overdue.'

The eighteen-year-old raised an eyebrow.

'Long overdue, my ass. If they are promoting drunkards like you, this country is going to the dogs.'

Hannes watched him gravely before giving an exasperated sigh. He patted the empty seat beside him.

'Hop in,' invited Hannes, turning the ignition key.

'Uh...no?' said Eren with a grin plastered to his face. He leaned away from the window, took a step back and placed a hand to his heart. 'My mommy told me not to go anywhere with strangers, _officer_.'

Hannes gave him a pained look.

'Enough with the jokes. Get in, will you?'

'I'll find my own way home. Thanks, but no thanks.'

'Eren,’ said Hannes.

The boy watched him uncertainly.

The officer's expression had changed; the traces of humor were all gone. The man looked serious. and this sudden transformation unnerved the boy.

Hannes seemed earnest when he spoke again.

'I’m not taking you home,' he admitted. ‘Because we need to talk. It's important.'

Eren stood at the passenger side door, drawing out his welcome. He turned silent and uneasy. His eyes darted up and down the road, searching for a way out. It didn't look like he had much choice. He straightened the strap of his bag and gave in.

'Fine.'

 

 

 

 

 

Hannes didn't take him home just like he said. Instead, the unshaven officer brought Eren to the police station. Eren's first instinct was ‘I screwed up. What did I do this time?' And the weirdest part of the ordeal— he didn't remember doing anything stupid. Not in recent times.

In the clutter and chaos of law enforcement, the boy was made to sit before a desk with its pile of files and folders, while Hannes drank shitty coffee, answered shitty phone calls and complained under his breath about shitty Vigilance Week. Eren bit back a grin as he watched the older man grumble and wheeze like a walrus clearly out of shape and out of times.

Hannes shifted the files around on his desk, clearing space for his mug of coffee. He cast away crummy old files with yellowing edges, tossed away paperweights and salvaged some space for his mug. He looked more tired than usual, and the coffee didn't seem to be helping his mood.

'Pardon my French,’ said Eren. ‘But you look like shit, Hannes.’

'You think?' came Hannes' swift retort. He scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a weary sigh. 'I've been working six nights in a row, kid. Imagine what that does to ya.'

Eren gave a slight frown. 'Uh, hold on, old man. I kinda lost you. Wait. Did you say you were _working_? Because I could have sworn you did. And the day you work, we all know it'd be the apocalypse.'

Hannes rolled his eyes.

'Ha. Ha, very mature.’

Their conversation was interrupted by a loud bang. The doors slammed open, and an officer dragged in a hobo with him. The man in rags protested loudly against the mistreatment, cursing the police and gave Eren the evil eye before he was pushed towards lockup.

The boy went quiet, the feeling of uneasiness returning to him.

'Okay...' trailed Eren, gulping. 'What did I do?'

Hannes looked up at him.

'What did you do?' the police officer repeated, puzzled.

'Yeah. Am I in trouble or something? Whatever it is, I demand to be read my rights! And while we’re on it, I need to see my lawyer too!'

Hannes sighed. ‘This isn’t NYPD Blue, kid,’ he muttered under his breath. Giving another grunt, he went back to reading his case report. The silence only made Eren feel guiltier.

'So, let me get this straight… you're not gonna put me behind bars? For stealing your bike that one time? It was a joke, I swear. Honestly, a joke that even _you_ found funny.'

Hannes didn’t say anything, his mind remaining preoccupied elsewhere. He tossed the report to its stack, returned the mug of coffee to the table and looked at Eren, wondering how he should broach the subject.

'It's not about you, you twerp. You didn't do anything.'

Eren raised an eyebrow. Relaxing into his seat, he reached out to grab a paperweight.

'Seriously? So, I’m off the... hook?'

'If you were on the hook, I'd keep you there, believe me.'

'Oh, c’mon,' protested the boy.

Hannes let out a sigh and crossed his arms. It was bizarre to see him trying to work up his courage. He looked like an old man talking to himself in a subway train. Never getting off, never entirely there either.

'Eren,' he began. 'The truth is...I want to talk to you about Carla.'

Here, he seemed to have uttered the magic word. Eren went quiet, painfully quiet… because Hannes could see the boy's tanned fingers tense ever so lightly. His grip turned white around the paperweight, whether in grief or anger Hannes couldn't tell. The boy averted his gaze, eyes dancing under their lids, trying to find something to focus on.

'Uh huh,' he simply said.

There was a long, hard silence.

Hannes cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. He knew he had to tread these waters carefully. Because Jaeger was still a teenager, a teenager who didn't chew words easily and was quick to temper. Hannes shifted in his chair, pulled open a drawer and rummaged through it.

He found what he was looking for.

Eren stared at the card that Hannes slipped across to him.

Stanley Memorial Hospital, it said.

'What's this?' the boy asked.

Hannes sat up and leaned forward.

'Look. I asked around, okay? A buddy of mine works in the coroner's office at Stanley and he says they've got the best psych division. As good as Stanford. Best of the best, Eren. I'm sure they'll be able to figure out what's wrong with—' Hannes paused, trying to put it as delicately across as possible. '– Carla,' he finished in a lower voice.

The boy said nothing and stared at the card.

Hannes drummed his fingers over his desk, watching the boy carefully.

Eren remained remarkably silent.

'I want you to think it over, kid. You get me? Think. It. Over,' Hannes prompted, growing edgy over the boy's silence.

Eren's lips twisted into a half smile.

‘Stop being a wuss and just say it, Hannes,’ the boy looked up from the card and met Hannes’ gaze firmly. ‘You want me to send her away. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?'

Hannes sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face in defeat.

'I’m not pushing you to do anything; I’d never do that. But I speak in the best interest–'

Hannes knew he’d made a mistake.

Because the quiet rage, that Hannes had hoped not to provoke, showed its first signs. Eren’s lips twisted into a snarl, and the voice that spoke was not of an eighteen-year-old boy. It was low and almost inhuman.

'There is nothing wrong with her,' the boy said churlishly, looking up to meet the police officer’s gaze with those fierce eyes of his. 'You get me? Nothing wrong!'

Eren tossed the card back onto the table and shook his head.

'Mom is doing fine, and I need to go see her.'

The chair scraped against the floor as the boy stood up.

Hannes growled at him.

‘Have you thought this through? What will you do if someone calls the cops on her? What if she hurts herself one of these days? What if she hurts someone _else_?’ the man gave him a staring down. ‘You think you can handle _everything_ , kid? This is beyond your means—’

Eren stopped at the door briefly.

'Like I said. Thanks, but no thanks,' he said before making his way out of Hannes’ cubicle.

Hannes gave the ceiling an exasperated look before standing up. Before Eren could leave the station’s main exit, the officer called out to him one more time.

'Stop right there, son. We're not done talking. You can't just walk away from this conversation–'

Much to his surprise, Eren stopped and those lean shoulders tensed up again. He stood, with his back turned to Hannes.

'I’m not your son,' said the boy. 'Don't call me that.'

Hannes sighed. 'Right. Sorry about that. It was a slip of tongue,' the man sighed again. 'Look, I don’t want to tell you what to do. But we got complaints from the neighborhood; she's getting worse. You know it. Hell, everyone knows it.'

There was a silence, and Eren stared blankly ahead.

'I'll fix it,' he finally said.

Hannes crinkled his nose, wondering where Eren had inherited his stubbornness from.

'Eren, a person is not a broken toy that can be fixed. For god's sake, open your eyes!'

'I said I’ll FIX it,' the boy yelled back at him. The commotion at the police station stilled for one short moment. Everyone looked up to stare at the two of them. Arguments and a bit of hot blood were not unnatural on the premises of a police station. Nor was Eren a new face. But this confrontation between them had everyone startled. Officer Rhodes, who had been reading Cosmopolitan, looked up and frowned at the two of them. But Hannes kept his eyes fixed on the volatile boy.

Eren turned to Hannes and gave an elusive smile.

'I will talk to her, okay? She will listen to me. She always does.'

 

 

The sycamore trees greeted him like old friends as he stood at the gate, one hand on the railing and the other stuffed into his jacket. Standing at the threshold of his own home, he felt like a stranger. It was six pm, and the lights were off. No one appeared to be home.

The neighborhood was quiet. The shutters were pulled down; Mr Carson's German Shepherd barked furiously at the shadows of evening. When the man emerged out of his front door to restrain the little beast, he spotted Eren at his gate. With one hand restraining the collar of his dog, he greeted Eren with a wave.

'Aloha! Look who decided to turn up? Good to see you, kid.'

The boy managed a smile.

'Yeah, you too, Mr Carson.'

Others were relieved to see him too. But for different reasons.

The stock market expert, Laggard, who had a habit of going out for night jogs and known for being the neighborhood’s voice came over to him.

'You're _back_. I’ve been waiting for you,' he said, peering at Eren from head to toe. Without giving the boy an opportunity to talk, he leaned in and asked in a low voice. 'Uh, do you have a moment? Can we talk?'

Eren looked at his home in a half daze.

'I’m sorry, I really need to go.'

But Laggard showed no signs of leaving.

'Hold on, it won't take much of your time. Don't mind me saying this, but I think your mum's got a problem.'

Eren took in a deep breath but said nothing. He clenched his fingers into a fist, keeping his eye on the closed front door.

'Yeah?' asked Eren, fighting the urge to snap. ‘Is that so?’

'I mean, don't take it personally. But she screamed at my children when they were just cycling down the road. Next thing we know, she goes back in and threw teacups down your front porch. She keeps talking about parallel worlds, alternate dimensions and weird stuff like that. Son–' Eren flinched at the word, but Laggard kept talking. 'I hate to say this, but she seems unwell.'

Eren looked at the porch and sure enough, he could see the litter of shards. Broken teacups. It wasn't the first time, but the sight still fazed him. Beside him, Laggard let slip a sigh.

'She is dangerous and sick,' Laggard said heavily. 'Really sick. I know your dad's not around but this,' the man pointed at the broken teacups. '–can't go on. People have been complaining. We are a peaceful community, and we wish we could help her. We really do. But it's best if you call professional–'

'I'll fix it,' interrupted Eren before pulling away from the man.

The eighteen-year-old swept past the gates and walked up the driveway. He climbed up the two steps of the porch, only to be met with three Eviction Notices on the front door.

 

_Pursuant to the provisions of RSA 520, you are hereby given an eviction notice and a notice to vacate, on or before the 7th of September—_

 

Eren skimmed to the bold section.

 

**You are hereby notified of your right to avoid this eviction by payment, prior to the expiration of this notice of all the arrearages.**

 

He cursed under his breath.

The notices weren't the only ones. Newspapers lay in a pile on the doorstep, and Eren picked them all up, like the duty bound son that he was. He arranged them into a stack, took the unpaid invoices from the letterbox and with a growing numbness that threatened to overwhelm his senses, Eren Jaeger rang the doorbell.

 

 

* * *

 


	2. Surrender

 

Chapter-2- Surrender

~.~

 

 

He could fix it.

He had, after all, dealt with backbreaking chores at the Training Corps; he had dealt with getting up at four in the morning and running fifty laps around the grounds, he had suffered through those god-awful drills in the biting cold; even put up with the name-calling and the slurs in high school. But as Eren swept the floor of the living room, picking up broken pieces of glass and china, the truth was beginning to dawn on him.

That no matter how much Eren pretended to be in control, he couldn't fix this. No, all he could do was pick up the pieces, like the good boy he was. The saving grace being that there were some parts he could salvage and still put together. Like the decapitated Laughing Buddha, who was still smiling despite his severed head. But for the rest, he couldn't undo the damage done. The teacups couldn't be recovered, nor could he save the ceramic pot that lay smashed in the backyard. All victims to his mother's psychotic episodes. Or ‘freak’ times. That's what Mrs Duwitt Logan, the religious Amway hustler next door seemed to call it.

Freak.

Nutter.

Loony.

He knew the names they called her.

Eren knelt on the ground and picked up a broken tea cup; he traced the crack running across the porcelain and found the uneven edges where the handle had chipped off.

He smiled ruefully. For teacups reminded him of someone.

'It's not your fault,' said a small voice within him. _It’s not your fault, trooper._

Eren didn't know whose voice it was. Or if it was speaking the truth. But he believed it anyway... because to believe otherwise would mean defeat. And, Eren Jaeger never surrendered. No, not so easily.

When the peacekeeper was done cleaning up the porch, he streaked back across to the front door, trash bag in hand. He paused momentarily to rip off the eviction notices pinned to the door.

Money, Eren knew, was a problem he could fix. Get a part time job at Starbucks or clean tables at Olive Garden, wash dishes, anything. Check his mom’s savings. And work off the mortgage slowly. Surely, he could come to some sort of an arrangement with the bank. He'd forgotten about the payments. He'd forgotten that this real world wasn't going to be forgiving towards him. Eren smiled ruefully. He wished for an exchange bureau that could convert his Titan savings into Earth money.

Crumpling the eviction notices into a ball, he slipped back inside the house and closed the door behind him gently. His steps were slow and deliberate. Eren found the kitchen as he had left it. His mother was sitting at the table, mute and staring into space blankly. Eren watched her from the corner of his eyes, as he walked over to the counter and picked up the litter of used noodle cups. He worked quietly, grabbing junk and stale food, sorting through them with a patience that would have surprised everyone who knew him. Eren cleared the counter with a rag and began tossing the junk into the trash bag.

His mother didn't say anything the whole time.

And perhaps, that hurt the most.

In the end, he didn't care about what the neighbours thought of them. He didn't give a fuck about what the world thought. Eren had resigned himself to the fact that life would never be the same when he first found out about her illness. But that didn't mean it hurt any less.

He turned and gave his mother a furtive glance.

Carla remained sitting in her spot, rocking in her seat like a child. Her clothes were unwashed, her hair unkempt and loose from her braid. She was wearing the same apron that he'd last seen her in. But she looked nothing like her former self. This woman... Eren hated to admit, was not his mother. But a shadow of Carla Jaeger.

Nevertheless, Eren put on a brave front. He gave her a cheery smile.

'You need to take a bath, mom,' he said. 'You'll feel better, trust me. Let’s get you a sponge bath and you'll feel as good as new.'

Silence answered him.

She stooped forward in her seat, wringing her hands in front of her. 'No... I won't take a bath.'

Eren watched her evenly.

'Why?' he asked.

His mother turned to look at him. She looked long at her son, her aged eyes seeming attentive and yet, strangely lost. Carla broke into a timid smile. 'Dirty,' she muttered under her breath. 'Why, the water is dirty, Eren. Don't you see it?'

Eren shook his head, puzzled.

'Dirty... why?'

'There's poison in it. Someone's been meddling with our supplies. They think I won't find out... but I do. Oh, I do. There is poison in the water, Eren,' she explained as if she were speaking to a child. 'They want me dead. Everyone wants—'

Just when Eren thought she was going to turn hysterical, his mother scowled and calmed down. She hunched her shoulders, shrinking back. 'What was I saying?' she asked in confusion, looking around at her surroundings. 'My head hurts,' she said, pressing her hands to her wrinkled face. 'Am I going mad? Those kids down the street call me names. They call me mad,' she looked at Eren, seeking reassurance from her son. 'That's not true... is it? Tell me, Eren. Tell me it's not true. I am not going insane, am I?'

The boy stilled, averting his gaze to the rag in his hand. He swallowed the tight knot in his throat and shook his head.

'N–No, don't listen to them. You're fine,' Eren lied, and he went back to scrubbing the counter. 'People are just mean. Forget about what they say.'

He heard her sigh in relief.

Eren dropped the rag and ran a hand through his hair.

'I—,' he forced himself to speak. 'I will get the water ready. You take a bath, okay?'

 

 

If there was one consolation, his room was just as he had left it, as if frozen in time and space. The duffel bag sat tossed on his table, unopened and unsorted. Eren sat at the edge of his bed, amusing himself by playing catch with the wall.

The sound was hypnotic to his ears.

Two bounces and a strike.

And slowly, the ball would return to him.

Surrounded by mute reminders of childhood—that vintage poster of Spiderman on his wardrobe, the stack of heavy metal, Daft Punk CDs and the glow in the dark stickers of dinosaurs and starfish, the figurines on Wolverine and Venom, Eren felt oddly numb.

He was home and yet, this wasn't it.

Not even remotely close.

Did he take the wrong turn somewhere? Did he choose the wrong gateway to stumble out of?

To land up in this fucked up dimension where everything looked the same, but it wasn't.

Maybe, this was all a bad dream.

He flung the ball into a corner and buried his face in his hands. He didn't cry. Grown men didn't cry, that's what they told you. Grown men knew how to fix problems. Grown men didn't sit at home, worrying about their mums either. He was eighteen, and the world still didn't make any sense.

Eren looked at his watch in despair. He almost willed for the red light to beep, for Gale to speak up. He waited for someone to call him. Someone. Anyone. Marco wishing him a good vacation. Oluo checking on him. Or... that one guy, he couldn't stop thinking about.

'Call me,' said Eren in a whisper, looking at his watch in earnest.

'Please,' he urged again.

Nothing happened.

His plea went unheard.

Gale was silent, but the storm in Eren's head continued to rage.

 

 

 

 

He stirred awake when he heard the banging.

Dressed in his undershirt and slacks, Eren stumbled out of bed and shook himself awake. Despite his foggy senses, he heard the banging again, this time louder than ever before. Before he could go looking for his mother, he caught sight of the baseball bat tucked under the bed. After having an inner debate with himself, Eren decided against it.

No. He had a feeling that this was no burglar.

As it turned out, he was right.

Eren found his mother standing before the basement door, banging her fist on it. She looked hysterical, confused and gasped for air with every hit.

Eren stopped in his tracks and stared at her, trying to comprehend what was going on.

'Mom?' he called out in concern. 'What's wrong?'

She didn't answer.

'W-–What are you doing, mom? There’s nothing down there.'

Carla didn't seem to hear him. She swallowed hard and smacked her fist on the door again.

Eren walked over to her, his footsteps treading light. He reached out for her shoulder, hoping to calm her down, but she gave a violent shriek at his touch.

Eren pulled back his hand in reflex.

'Sorry, it's me,' said the boy. 'It's just me, mom. EREN,' he urged in a quiet whisper. 'Look at me.'

Carla turned her face towards him— her skin gaunt and pallid— the light of recognition returning to her eyes for the briefest of moments. The fugues swallowed her again, lucidity of thoughts gone. She turned back to the basement door and rattled the knob.

'He's inside,' she told Eren, sounding frantic. 'We need to save him.'

'Huh?'

'Your father… Your father is inside, Eren.'

Eren held his breath, growing quiet.

'Mom,' he called, trying to keep his voice from breaking. ‘Don’t.’

'We need to rescue your father. They are torturing him, Eren. Can't you hear his screaming? Why are you still standing here? Help me! Why aren’t you doing _something_ , you insolent child!'

Eren watched her grimly.

'He isn't there, mom,' he said, emphasizing each word. 'He never was. The basement is empty. It's been empty for eight years, remember?' he said, his jaw set. 'He left us, that guy… that asshole isn't coming back.'

Carla stared at him, mouth agape.

'Take that back...' she snapped, eyes turning wide and furious.

'I’m telling you the truth!'

'TAKE THAT BACK!' she shrieked.

Eren took a step back and watched her, looking hurt.

Carla pressed her hands over her ears. 'LIES! All lies. Your father would never leave us. NEVER. He won't leave me alone. He loved us.'

His words seem to have driven her over the edge, and she burst into tears. Sobbing, she hunched over, slipping to the floor. Her words turned choppy, thoughts more delirious.

Eren reached out to touch her face, but she flinched.

'Don’t!' she screamed at him.

'I... I am here,' placated Eren, managing a small smile. 'He's gone… but I am still here, right?'

Carla turned to him, dumbfounded.

'Who are you?' she scoffed. 'I don't know you. Who are you, child?' she spat out angrily. 'You are not my son. You left me here all alone. My boy would never leave his mother. He'd listen to me. You, you... are an impostor.'

Eren stared at her, wide-eyed.

Words failed him, and there was that dam within him threatening to break. That voice in his head was speaking again. But he couldn't make out what it was saying. He watched his mother sob, watched her weep, and felt powerless. And so, Eren decided to do what he was good at. He took two steps back and turned. He left the hallway, walked out of the living room and turning the latch of the front door, he left the place he had once called home.

Everything was a blur. A haze of dark colors and images. Noises from reality TV and soap operas filtered from next door. And before he knew it, that old rage was consuming him. He emerged out of his gates, sprinted down the length of the road until he recognised the Chevrolet parked outside the stock broker's home. Laggard, he remembered. Laggard with his fancy nice car, coming to tell him how messed up his mother was. And there was Mrs Logan's Ford, with slogans of 'In God, We Trust' and ‘Jesus loves you.’

Eren had a manic smile.

True, he was a troublemaker, and he did like to make a mess, after all.

And as Eren picked up two sharp stones from the ground, weighed them to judge their worth, he felt oddly at peace. He swung his arm back, taking aim, and he hoped Mr Wall Street and Mrs Bible Thumper liked the mess he was about to make.

His aim couldn't have been better.

His stint as a temp pitcher on the baseball team came handy.

The sound of glass breaking was exquisite in the silence of the night.

Shouts emerged from the neighborhood, and Eren ducked out of sight. With one last look at the damage he'd done, he turned around the corner and ran.

 

 

 

 

Twigs snapped under the weight of his steps, cracking loudly in the silence of the night. When he reached the park of Fifth Avenue, he ignored the 'No Trespassers' sign, hoisted himself over by his elbows and climbed over the metal fencing. Eren broke into a run again. The chill made his nose hurt, made his lungs bleed. It was as if he was back on the tracks of the training grounds, competing for the half mile record with Annie. While Thomas and Hannah cheered him on in fun and spirit. Those idiots in love. But this time, there was no one to encourage him, no one for him to beat and no one in the shadows, watching his sprint with those perceptive grey eyes.

He was alone on this side of the galaxy. Like always.

He arrived at the old marble fountain, a mermaid sitting on a plinth. Eren stepped over the edge of the fountain and entered the pool. Gateway 78, he remembered. His key buzzed with a silent energy, beckoning him to use it.

But he restrained himself and looked at his watch.

Eren brought up the comm.. to his lips and requested Gale to connect him to Sgt Shadis.

Three rings and soon, the man's screamer voice filled the air.

'Jaeger,' chortled the man. 'I do not appreciate my cadets disturbing me on vacation. If you have the audacity to call—'

'Requesting entry to Titan, sir,' the boy interrupted, never one to beat about the bush. The urgency in his voice was as obvious as day.

There was a cold, hard silence before Shadis grunted.

'Come again, cadet. I could have sworn you asked me to—'

'I would like to come back to Titan, sir. Requesting entry, Sergeant. Please.'

There was another long pause, and the comm. channel cracked with static.

Shadis gave a deep sigh.

'What the fuck is wrong with you, boy?' his trainer demanded. 'Rules are rules. All cadets stationed on Earth will abide by posting timelines. And right now, you _fucking_ imbecile, I want your flaky ass posted on your goddam planet. Unless the circumstances warrant an emergency, you can't—'

'It IS an emergency,' urged Eren. 'Please, sir.'

The link went silent again. When Shadis spoke, he sounded curt and annoyed.

'Talk to your guardian. You know the protocol, Jaeger. Get his approval, and I'll let you through.'

Eren bit his lip and pressed his other hand to his forehead. He shook his head despairingly.

'I can't ask him, sir.'

'Then, you sure as hell can't ask me. Request Denied,' announced Keith Shadis.

Before Eren could come up with a way to convince him, the man cut the transmission.

'Fuck,' said Eren, kicking at the tail of marble mermaid. 'Fuck, fuck... FUCK!' he panted hard as the drumming in his head grew. No, he wouldn't stay here. Screw them. Why the hell did he even need permission? He had the key, after all. Even if it meant breaking a few stupid rules, so be it. The boy looked at his watch and reached for the green oblique button. Squeezing his eyes shut and knowing how much he was going to regret his actions, he pressed it.

 

* * *

 


	3. Connection

 

Chapter-3- Connection

~.~

 

The glass doors slid open. The winds brought in the dust from the street and along with it, a visitor. A visitor in his PeaceCorp uniform, whose sharp features looked morose and disenchanted with his surroundings. Never seen in these parts, the man's reputation preceded him. Grendall, the wizened caretaker of Titan's Centre for Earthen Studies, looked up in surprise when he saw the man. He did a double take, his old eyes widening a little. Of all the people to visit him on this lazy afternoon, this face of the Titan Army would have figured last in his list. The visitor ignored Grendall and looked around, his searching glance flickering from the tapestry to the aisles on the first floor.

'You open?' the man finally enquired.

Rivaille Levi's voice feigned disinterest as though someone had put a gun to his head and forced him to step in. That he was not here by his own volition.

Nonetheless, Grendall was happy to receive him and nodded fervently. He was an enthusiastic old man, and always welcomed visitors.

'Why, YES! We are open and very much in business. I must say, it is an honor to see you here, Lieutenant—' beamed the librarian, climbing down his high stool. 'Can I help you, sir?'

The soldier grew stiff at Grendall’s salutation. He gave a small shrug as he walked up to the shelves.

'It's Corporal now,' said Levi, his voice void of emotion. 'Not that it matters much.'

Grendall stood in his spot, looking perplexedly at the visitor. He wondered if he’d heard the man right.

'Corporal?' Grendall repeated, tilting his head in puzzlement. 'Correct me if I am wrong, sir, but I thought army ranks moved up and not… _down_.'

Levi allowed a small smile to escape him. He met Grendall's inquisitive eyes with his own, remaining nonplussed. 'Is that so?' he quipped. 'And here I thought libraries were supposed to be quiet and not so nosy. Guess, we were both wrong, huh?'

Grendall took the hint and refrained from asking more questions. From what he'd heard about the man from Lieutenant Hanji Zoe, it was best not to get on this man’s bad side. He watched as the officer traversed through the aisles, searching for something. Levi picked a random tome from the rack and examined it. The stoic man mumbled something inaudible as he flipped through the pages.

'Sir?' Grendall prompted. 'You said something?'

Levi gave a 'tch'. He returned the book to its shelf and picked another. 'I got demoted,' he finally said. 'In case you were wondering.'

Grendall nodded faintly, looking almost apologetic.

'Extremely sorry to hear that.'

The man smirked, turning to look at Grendall. 'Extremely sorry?' he echoed and let out a chuckle. 'Which burrow did you crawl out of, old timer? Planet Manners?' he shook his head in amusement. Scratching his chin, he furrowed his brows and turned serious. 'Truth is... I'm not missing out on much. Air gets thinner as you go up. Unless you're in the army for fanfare, hoopla and all that shit.'

'Ah,' interjected Grendall, beginning to understand. Though it didn't stop him from wondering if the man was telling him the whole truth. He watched as Levi replaced the book on the shelf and began to look a little impatient with the size of the collection.

'Is there...' Grendall asked, choosing his words carefully. '...Is there something you're looking for, sir? I might be able to help you.'

And here, the man with the undercut looked visibly unnerved.

'Hanji told me this repository is a storehouse of information. That true?'

Grendall nodded, straightening his pince-nez with a hint of pride.

Levi motioned to the bookshelves.

'So, you must know everything about... the place?'

Grendall stared at Levi, not following his train of thought.

'About which place exactly, sir?'

The man rolled his eyes, as if the answer were obvious.

Grendall waited, not quite getting it.

'Earth,' Levi said.

The Librarian gave Levi a benevolent smile.

'Earth? Boggle me sundry, how didn't I guess that?’ he said wryly. ‘You know, Corporal. This library is called Research Centre for Earthen Studies for a reason. Let me tell you all about it.'

 

 

 

 

Levi sat sprawled in a cushion chair, his knees crossed, head reclining on one hand and the expression of utter boredom plastered to his face. He was beginning to regret his question; he was certainly beginning to regret coming here, because it had been two hours already and this old goof of a Librarian showed no signs of shutting up.

Grendall spoke feverishly as if possessed. He also seemed to have a flair for theatre.

'You see, sir... No other war had changed the map of Europe so dramatically. Four empires disappeared because of World War One: Four Imperial Empires, mind you. To name them, German, Austro-Hungarian, Ottoman, and Russian. Nations regained their former independence, and new ones were created. Four dynasties, together with their ancillary aristocracies, all fell after the war: the Hohenzollerns, the Habsburgs, the Romanovs, and the Ottomans. Belgium and Serbia were badly damaged, as was France, with 1.4 million soldiers dead. It—'

'Hey,' called Levi, down to his last strand of his patience.

Grendall didn't hear him and ploughed on.

'When it comes down to the resolution, a formal state of war between the two sides persisted for another seven months, until the signing of the Treaty of Versailles with Germany on 28 June 1919. It was a pivotal moment in Earth's history and a catalyst for what was to come '

'Hey,' Levi called, louder this time. 'You listening, you old fart?'

This caught the man's attention.

'Old fart?' echoed Grendall indignantly. 'Did you just call me–?'

'I didn't ask for their _entire_ fucking history.'

Grendall let his shoulders sag and closed his encyclopedia shut.

'In that case, what do you want to know, my good man?'

Levi uncrossed his legs and his eyes shifted uncomfortably.

'Soldiers,' he replied at long last. 'How are they trained, groomed... mentored, that sort of thing. What works, what doesn't work? Cultural barriers that kind of stuff.'

Grendall scratched his beard and prepared himself for the delivery.

'In the ancient ages, the Romans–'

Levi grew rigid and cast an icy glare at the man. 'You give me a history lesson again, and I'll rip your tongue out from your throat.'

Grendall gulped, visibly shaken by the threat and the violent image it conjured. He threw his hands up in defeat. 'Right, right, no history. I'll just paraphrase what I know, Corporal. Can I hope for a bit of patience, first?'

Levi gave a curt nod and asked him to get on with it.

Grendall smiled gratefully.

'Mentoring is a form of practical education. In the ancient ages, young soldiers learned the tools of the trade from their father. How to hunt wild boars, how to be a marksman, everything. It was the most effective method in transferring skills and knowledge.'

'From their _father_ ,' repeated Levi, frowning.

'Yes.'

The raven-haired man scowled.

'This one doesn't have a father. You've got anything else up your sleeve? Something I can actually work with here?'

Grendall paused. It occurred to him, that the soldier wasn't asking him these questions out of sheer curiosity.

'Is there something particular that you want to ask me, sir? About… _someone_ particular?'

Levi was silent, his narrow gaze shifting between the tapestry and Grendall. He exhaled deeply before sinking back into his chair.

'Here's the deal. I've been put in charge of this...' he searched for the word. '– kid,' he decided. 'Earthborn. Rookie trainee. Volatile, moody and has a penchant for breaking rules.'

Grendall nodded along. 'Let me guess, he is a handful...?'

Levi rolled his eyes.

'More than a handful,' Levi corrected. He drummed his fingers along the seam of his pant and scoffed mildly. 'To be honest, he is a ball of rage and rebellion. His mood swings are the worst,' the man paused. 'Say, old fart, you must have met some of these kids down here. Are all of them like that?'

The Librarian looked stumped (and not necessarily at being addressed as an ‘old fart’).

'I don't think so. But in answer to your question–'

Levi looked up with faint interest.

'In the absence of the father, there was always pederasty,' Grendall suggested with a diminutive nod. 'Infamous among the Greeks and the Romans.'

'Pedewhat?'

'A relationship where an older male would take a younger one into his hood, especially an evanescent teenager. The older would teach the boy the ways of the world, mentor him. A very social method for inculcating moral values and developing military skills in the sapling.'

Levi's attention was piqued.

'Go on.'

'Of course, the relationship was… in exchange for favors.'

'Favors?' Levi repeated, not liking the sound of it. 'What kind of favors?'

And here, Grendall began to look a little apologetic again.

'Yes... uh,' he tried to skim over the subject. '... sexual favours.'

Levi stared at the man, grey eyes widening just a little. It took him a long moment to process what he'd just heard; he scowled when his attempt to regain his composure didn’t succeed. He got up and looking sourer than before, he made for the door.

Grendall wondered if he’d offended the officer.

'Leaving, Lieute— I mean, Corporal?'

'Yes,' Levi grunted. 'Clearly, I came to the wrong place. Burn your books, they’re vile.'

 

 

 

The long hallways of Trost Army Headquarters were always teeming with people. Interns, clerks, trainees, senior Corp members and the rest of the pack. It had been almost ten years since he joined this rat pack, and he'd learnt to turn a deaf ear to the chatter and gossip. He rarely acknowledged his compatriots, choosing his sullen expression to do the talking; he was also aware of how people jumped when they saw him... and Levi never ever stopped to make small talk. Until today.

'Jaeger? Eren Jaeger?'

'That's him, alright.'

His feet came to a halt, and Levi paused to glance at the speaker.

There was the sergeant— whose face with its scars and absence of eyebrows made for an easy scaretail face, the sergeant, whose loud booming voice, while instrumental on the field was a nuisance indoors. Yes. Keith Shadis, loudspeaker incarnated.

'I told him, Ness. I gave the lad an earful. Do you think I am running a motel here, rookie? DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THE SHIT YOU GO THROUGH ON THE OTHER END? That’s what I said to him. Next thing I know these kids will be asking for breakfast in bed. Who does that kid think he is?'

Dita Ness scowled, unable to wrap his head around the info he’d just received.

'But Shadis,' he grieved. 'Why did he come back? From what I remember, he was very fond of his home. His world.'

'Cos' he's a troublemaker. That's what he is. Stole the globe from my office. Did I tell you about the runt's antics? And sloppy! Dedicated chump, but he is clumsier than a llama on wheels. I told Pixis that we need to boot him out the moment after he failed the kinesthetics test. But oh no, he's _special_ ,' grumbled Keith Shadis and let out a string of expletives again.

Dita remained stuck on the motives.

'But why did he come back?'

'Who the fuck cares? Ness, stop sticking on the details!'

Keith Shadis opened his mouth to rant again when he spotted Levi in the offing.

'AHA!’ he hollered. ‘Just the man I was looking for. You heard everything, huh, Corporal?' The boom box strode over to Levi and squared his shoulders, sizing up the smaller man. 'Saves me the trouble of dropping by your office. Do something about that brat of yours!'

Levi met the sergeant's gaze and returned a false smile.

'He is not _my_ brat. Besides, you're the trainer, Shadis. Don't dump your screw-ups on me.'

Keith Shadis folded his arms, built himself a bit. He raised his chin and looked down his nose.

'And may I remind you, _Corporal_ ,’ he seemed to derive joy in emphasizing on that last word. ‘— who his guardian is. I am done chewing out the boy. I take care of a hundred and twenty candidates every year. But this one, oh this one, takes the cake. Believe me!'

Levi turned away.

'Not my problem,' he mouthed, leaving Shadis in his dust.

Keith glowered behind him.

'Even you can't handle the excess baggage, huh?' Shadis yelled at him.

The raven-haired man paused in his tracks again. For a second, Keith Shadis thought he had pissed the man off. But Levi didn't have any retorts to make and shrugged in nonchalance.

'Do what you want,' said Levi.

 

 

 

 

Smoke billowed out of the subway tunnel; an entire stretch of the rapidex expressway had caved in. Levi watched Gunther take rein of the situation. Decked in a commando suit, Velcro padding and dark helmet, Gunther cordoned off the zone with red tape and barked caution at the curious bystanders. 'Nothing to see here, people. Move along. MOVE ALONG!'

The rest of his squad were searching the ground for casualties.

Oluo joined Levi at the forefront, shaking his head as he pitched his report.

'No serious injuries, Corporal sir. Two young women had a narrow escape and look a little traumatized. Petra is having the medicos look at them. The girls should be alright, if you ask me.'

Levi nodded curtly, his grey eyes taking in the sight of the mishap.

'Is the wreck stable?' he asked of his subordinate.

Oluo Bozado returned a grim look. The older man bit the side of his cheek before giving his verdict. 'Not sure about stable, Corporal. I almost got a concussion from falling debris. Plus, electric lines have split overhead. Not exactly safe working conditions. No wonder the MP passed this hazard to us.'

Levi nodded in understanding, as he slipped on his gloves and pulled up the oxygen mask over his mouth.

Oluo blinked at him, worriedly.

'Sir, you're not going in, are you? It's dangerous, and Petra would have my head if anything were to happen–'

'I'll risk it,' said Levi, his voice sounding muffled behind the mask. 'Oluo.'

'Sir?'

'Send a ground report to Erwin. Brief him on what happened here. Meet me back at the TJ in ten, got it?'

'Yes.'

Oluo watched in reverence as his superior climbed over a fallen pillar and trekked his way towards the tunnel. Two more stealthy steps and the dark abyss of the subway swallowed him whole.

As Levi descended into the tunnel, he flicked his watch onto night vision mode. He asked Gale for a grid map and the network sent a spiral of light ahead, illuminating the path before Levi in grid squares and infrared. He could hear the buzz of snapped electric lines coursing overhead, the ones Oluo had warned him about. Sometimes, the broken lines sent a shower of sparks raining down. Levi was thankful for his protective gear, but he didn't take risks. He kept to the middle, circumventing around the debris, the pools of pipe leakage and toxic fumes.

He finally arrived at the epicenter of the explosion. Rubble covered the floor, with charred beams sticking out of the ceiling, hanging dangerously overhead. The glass window of a corner shop had been blown out of its frame. Everyone in the five-mile radius, both man and machine had been thankfully evacuated. Which provided him the peace and quiet to continue his investigation.

Levi stilled, growing keen and alert. It couldn’t be the rebels. This wasn’t their style.

So, what had happened here?

Faulty construction?

Radical groups making a statement?

Or something else?

Almost in answer, he heard a noise. A steady strum. Levi frowned and crouched close to the ground. He traced the sound to a pile of rubble. Levi stooped closer and taking out a pocket knife, he scavenged through the debris. With a heave, the dark-haired man wrenched out a piece of metal from the pile and blew the dust off it.

He recognised the scrap, having seen it in HQ numerous times before.

It was a fragment of an arch. A gateway arch, still vibrating.

But what was it doing here?

Levi looked around, wondering if he'd just discovered a gateway explosion. Why hadn't Gale picked it up?

He heard footsteps behind him.

'Corporal! CORPORAL!' Petra called to him, sounding frantic. He turned and found the auburn-haired girl waving at him. 'You're not supposed to be here,' she said and pointed to the ceiling. 'This thing could fall apart any moment! We can't stay here, sir!' she pressed.

Levi rose to his feet, pocketing the piece of gateway trash into his vest. He looked around at the site of destruction again, searching for other fragments.

'Corporal!' urged Petra.

Levi grunted in annoyance.

'I heard you fine the first time, Petra.'

She went quiet.

'Tell me something, Ral. Who tipped us off?'

'What?'

'Who sent the tip?'

Petra bit her lip and checked her records.

'An anonymous. He sounded nervous and wouldn't give his name. Gale couldn't trace him either.' She frowned, as she studied the collapsed ceiling. 'What do you think happened here, sir?'

Levi shook his head. 'I’m not sure,' he muttered under his breath.

His subordinate watched the ceiling as if waiting for the roof to crumble any second. Petra bit her lip as she produced a ziplock bag. She toed through the dust, collecting evidence from the site.

When a wrangled beam screeched dangerously above them, Levi decided it was time to quit. He walked over to Petra, caught her shoulder and nudged her towards the exit. Petra understood and followed suit. As they walked back into the light, she cleared her throat.

'Corporal Levi, I almost forgot to mention. There was a call from Lt. Zoe.'

Levi stilled for a short moment.

'And what did four eyes want this time?'

Petra hesitated, weighing her words.

'She said it was urgent. That you should, um, head to Training Corp quarters when you were done here.'

Levi didn’t like the sound of that message.

 

 

 

 

 

Keith Shadis wore a 'I-told-you-so' look as he held the door open and ushered Levi in.

Levi wished he could wipe the smug grin off the baldy’s face.

He swept past the taller man and stepped into Keith's cramped office. Unlike the short statured Lance Corporal, Sergeant Keith Shadis believed wholeheartedly that disorder was the hallmark sign of a busy man. Tidiness was for wussies; Real Men lived and breathed dirt. Such was the man's principle and his office was a testament to this principle. The desk was in disarray, the wild cactus needed pruning, and Levi was visibly disturbed by the mold growing in Keith's trash recycler. He fought the urge to go out and grab a disinfectant.

Amidst all the chaos (that was Keith Shadis' office), there was a different chaos waiting for him. A teenager sat silent and withdrawn, his elbows folded across the desk. Eren Jaeger didn't look up, as Levi strode across to him and propped himself on the desk. The older man watched the boy in silence and though the brunet's head was lowered, Levi spotted the black eye and scrapes across the jawline. Eren's lower lip was purple and swollen.

Levi let out a long, suffering sigh at the state of his ward.

'Hello sunshine,' he greeted in a low voice. 'You look peachy as always, brat.'

Eren grew stiff but didn't look up. Perhaps this was the first sign that something was wrong. The first of many signs that Levi noticed.

Because for one thing, Levi didn't remember a time when the nickname of sunshine couldn't get a rise out of the boy. There were no retorts. No quips. Nothing. Eren sat subdued in  his chair, his spine bent, body posture closed.

Keith Shadis joined them at the table, towering over both.

'Alright, Sergeant,' conceded Levi, seeing that no answers were about to emerge from the kid. He turned to the Corps trainer and sized him up. 'Hit me with it, Shadis. What did he do this time?' he asked Keith.

'What did he do?' Shadis scoffed and took out the file he had kept propped in his sweaty armpit. The broad-shouldered sergeant hunkered down, turning pages in his file, and his eyes going manic at the report, he slammed the file on the table, making everyone in the room flinch.

'Trust me, Corporal, it's easier to talk about what he _didn't_ do,' Shadis crowed, unconscious of the fact that he was spitting on his audience. 'Let's see. Infraction One: Breached gateway without authority,' he paused to glare at Eren. 'Infraction two: Defied a superior's command on purpose. Infraction THREE: Was a dumbass even though he is aware that I don't _fucking_ tolerate dumbasses in my regiment. You get my drift?'

Levi gauged the man silently, before taking out a handkerchief and wiping his face with it.

'I get your drift, alright,' he said, pulling a face of disgust. 'More than enough of your drift. Next time, say it. Don't _spray_ it, Shadis.'

Keith was still glowering at the boy.

Levi cleared his throat.

'Care to elaborate on the dumbass part?'

Keith Shadis snorted at the question. 'Elaborate? I'll tell you what he did. Despite me being kind enough to let this devil stay on, the little twat has the audacity to get into a fight on the first day he is in. A cocky little bastard, that's what he is.'

Levi looked down at the brown head, appraising the boy. To his surprise, Eren was still avoiding his eye.

'That true?' he asked, prodding the boy's knee with his shoe.

Eren remained silent, but Levi saw those tanned fingers clench into a fist.

Ah, there it was.

Anger.

Of course, that wasn't a new emotion to Eren.

Levi watched the boy carefully.

'Look at you. A bag of sunbeams and rainbows, aren't you, Jaeger?' he taunted.

Condescension always did the trick. The boy looked up and met his steel gaze. There were those fierce eyes, like the oceans Grendall described, hiding beauty and maelstroms under its surface. The boy’s lip was bruised and purple, but that didn’t stop it from twisting into a smile.

'What're you gonna do about it?' the boy challenged. 'Going to _spank_ me? Whip me with a riding crop, sir? Kick my tooth out again? I’m sure there are plenty left to go around.'

There was a silence.

Much to Eren's surprise, Levi couldn’t be goaded into anger and let his remarks slide.

Instead, the man turned to Shadis, professionalism in every manner.

'Who was he found brawling with?'

Shadis glared at Eren as he spoke. 'Another dumbass chump by the name of Frank. 104th squadron. That one's… our own flesh and blood. A Titan. Both won't spill the beans on what the fight was about.'

'Yeah?' said Levi, his piercing gaze returning to the boy. 'How did this Frankie fare?'

Here Shadis looked disappointed. 'Multiple fractured ribs, a gash above his left ear and a semi-permanent spot in the infirmary. If you're wondering how I know so much, I had to personally admit the dickwad into infirmary myself. Spent the whole night listening to the weasel moan and groan. Your ward did quite the number on him, alright.'

Levi watched Eren's mouth twitch into a small smile. Of course, Levi had to suppress a smile of his own.

Shadis growled at the two of them. _Especially_ at Eren.

'Kid, don't look so happy. You and Crybaby are both suspended for two weeks. In my entire life, I've never had to suspend recruits on vacation. I guess when it comes to you, cadet… there is never a dearth of firsts, is there? Bottom line, I can't have you here.'

This spurred a reaction in the teenager, Levi noticed. Eren looked at his trainer and gawked at him.

'What?... What does that mean?' he asked, squinting at Keith Shadis with his one good eye.

'It means you go back home to your stupid planet. And this time, stay the fuck there.'

Eren shook his head furiously.

'I can't.'

'Are you defying a direct order? AGAIN?'

Shadis was inching closer to blowing his fuse and as much as Levi enjoyed watching this spectacle unfold, his attention remained fixed on the boy. Something wasn’t right, but what?

Eren was still arguing with Shadis, refusing to return.

'I mean no disrespect, sir. But I’m not going back. You can't make me,' the boy vowed, his hands balled into fists.

The bald Sergeant turned to Levi and gave him a pointed look. As if to say, ‘See? This is your problem, mate. Not mine.’

Levi pulled away from the table and watched the boy in silence. He reached for Eren, caught the boy's elbow and pulled the teenager to his feet. Without a word, he began dragging the brunet to the door.

'Where are we going?' his ward demanded.

'The dungeon.'

Eren’s eyes widened, and he resisted against the strong arm dragging him away. 

Of course, his guardian turned a deaf ear to all his protests.

 

 

* * *

 


	4. Tolerance

 

Chapter-4- Tolerance

~.~

 

 

The dungeon had a number plate.

1263.

The boy stood sullen before the door until Levi lost the last straw of his patience and pulled Eren aside. Giving the teenager a narrow stare, the older man pressed his hand over the door. Gale read his biometric, affirming his identity, and the door swung open in welcome.

As soon as he led the boy in, Levi heard paws scuttling forward to greet him. 'On,' he spoke aloud to the network, and when Gale turned on the lights of the apartment, there was Krobe sitting on its hind legs, wagging its tail earnestly. The good behavior didn't last long, for the droid spotted its nemesis soon enough. Like a moth to a flame, Krobe went on its guard and lumbered over to Eren's feet, giving a low, threatening growl at the visitor.

Eren kept a cautious eye on the Rottweiler pup and began taking his shoes off. Pressing his toes to the heel of each sneaker, he slithered out of them, and Levi watched the boy line them up neatly on the rack. It was a scene that left the older man amused and maybe, even a little worried.

Krobe was far from impressed.

The dog grew agitated; it took to barking and growling at the boy, letting its displeasure show. When the teenager continued to ignore it, the dog leaped forward and began tugging at his socks. Eren gave the droid a blank look, and much to Levi's surprise, the boy gave in to the demands and began rolling off his socks next. He removed the socks with a yank and tucked them into his sneakers quietly. Sneakers, Levi noticed, that looked worn out, beaten and needed replacing. When Eren turned around, he stood ginger and hesitant, eyes remaining glued to the floor. His hands were buried into his pant pockets as he waited for Levi's directions.

And perhaps now, the guardian understood what was out of order; what was wrong with this entire picture.

The expressionless face. The lack of a smile. Characteristics which were his own strong suit but on Eren… they felt just wrong. While Levi had always admired and berated the repertoire of expressions sported by Eren… this emptiness, this blank submission and broken spirit was just _not_ this kid. Not his ward.

'My face is up here, cadet,' he said to the boy.

There was no answer. Eren was still watching the dog; his bruised lips pursed into a line, thoughts clearly elsewhere. Something’s wrong, Levi knew. But the boy was clamped up tight, unwilling to talk about it.

The older watched him carefully.

'Jaeger,' he called out louder this time. ‘You hear me?’

Hearing his name seemed to draw Eren out of a trance. He looked up sharply and nodded. To appease Levi, he put on a brave smile. A smile that didn't reach his eyes like it usually would.

Levi watched the boy for a long moment and appraised him again, wondering if the boy was sick. No, he seemed fine. Sans the injuries. With a shake of his head, the older man picked up Krobe and walked into his living room. He scowled when he realised that the boy wasn’t following him in. He looked over his shoulder and cast an exasperated look at the peacekeeper.

Eren was still frozen at the door.

'Do you need a _fucking_ invitation?' Levi asked him.

The boy turned hesitant.

'Sorry. I was just thinking–'

'Thinking?'

'Uh, thinking if this is okay?'

Chaffed, his guardian set Krobe down.

'No, it's _not_ okay for you to dawdle on my doorstep.'

Eren flinched a little.

'I mean… my staying with you.’ Eren tilted his head, suddenly keen to study the walls. 'People are gonna… _talk,_ you know,' he said haltingly.

Levi watched him for a long while, his grey gaze never breaking contact. 'Do I look like someone who cares?' he asked. When the boy finally met his gaze, he returned a puzzled look. Levi shrugged as he walked over to the center of the living room. Taking a deep breath in, he placed his palms on the spine of the couch and began moving it. 'People will always talk,' said Levi, as he exerted his strength into shuffling the couch to a spot facing the window. 'And you know why they talk? Because they've got nothing better to do. Do you think I give a rat's ass about what other people think?'

The couch screeched as it was pushed to the shutters.

Levi straightened himself and dusted his hands, finding this new position somewhat reasonable. He turned to find the boy still standing at the doorway. Levi looked at Eren, smirking. 'And where is this coming from? Since when are you embarrassed about coming over? Last I checked, you never had scruples about breaking into other people's houses.'

Eren smiled, regaining some of his old humor. He jabbed a thumb to the door behind him.

'Yeah, well… I’m not used to coming in through the front door, sir. It's a whole new experience.'

Levi took off his cravat and folded it. He gave Eren a thin veiled smile.

'You want me to keep the window open? Is that it?' asked the older man. 'You want to go over to Mrs Norman and try your suicidal antics again?'

Eren said a soft 'no' and went painfully quiet again. Levi wondered if it was the mildew light, the humidity or something else, but he saw the boy's features flush red. So, it was embarrassment, Levi concluded. The teenager cleared his throat and scratched his nape awkwardly. 'It's just that... I haven't stayed the night before,' the boy confessed, looking down as if his gaze was glued to his bare feet. 'Aren't you worried I might do something?'

The smile never left Levi.

'Like what?' he teased.

Eren nodded.

'Like kick your dog, steal your things... or—'

'Molest me?' Levi quipped.

Eren rolled his eyes.

'I’m not a pervert.'

'Could have fooled me.'

The boy raised his head and returned an indignant look.

Levi smirked. 'If you keep your animal urges to yourself, that's enough of an achievement, Jaeger.'

 

 

 

 

 

The boy sat down on the couch and brought his feet up, pulling his arms around his knees. He drummed his fingers over his elbows. True, it wasn't the first time he was here. True, he did have a penchant for breaking in and bringing trouble to the old woman Mrs Norman next door. Nothing had fazed him before... whether it was locked doors, a rabid robodog or even the heights. He’d always come around to deliver status reports too. So, why did _this_ time have to be any different?

He folded his arms above his knees and perched his head on top of them.

Why different, Eren asked himself again.

The answer surrounded him.

Burying his face in his hands, the young peacekeeper tried not to listen to the sounds from the bedroom. The opening of a wardrobe, the rustle of clothes, the older man giving quiet commands to Gale regarding the lighting, the temperature and the humidity. There was the water running in the bathroom, Levi washing his face and arms, reaching for the towel on the hangar. He could hear them all. The Corporal's private moments. And when his guardian appeared at the doorway, dressed in a grey button-up shirt and those dark pants, Eren realised why this time was different.

Because Levi was no longer his superior. The uniform had been discarded, the ranks put away.

Perhaps the man had grown aware of it too. This change in status quo. Perhaps Levi was having second thoughts as well… about having Eren planted here, smack in the middle of his personal space. Maybe that's why the guardian began pushing rules, trying to bring up the barrier between them again. What was he afraid of? Then again, what was _Eren_ afraid of?

'Dinner will be ready by seven,' said Levi, rolling his sleeves to his elbows. 'Get showered first. I will not have sloppiness under my roof. Are we clear?'

Eren turned his head and watched the man guardedly.

'Are we clear, trooper?' Levi asked again, expecting an answer this time.

There he was again, building those walls between them. Eren couldn't help but feel incensed. Rules, rules and nothing but rules. No matter where he went, people were telling him what to do, how to behave, and how to follow orders. The back of his head felt like it was going to explode.

'I’m clean,' he said in a strained voice, trying to hold onto the little bit of himself left. He didn’t meet the man’s gaze. Rebellion or not, Levi's glares had the potential to smolder him. The boy didn't want to risk it.

'That wasn't a request, sunshine. You want to stay here, you'll do as I say. Unless, you want to go back to your world, be my guest. Door’s wide open!'

Eren looked up at the man in chagrin. Placing his hands in his pockets, he rose and walked over to Levi. 'Effing Napoleon,' he muttered under his breath. 'That's what you are.'

Levi regarded him coolly.

'What did you just call me?'

Eren glared at the dark-haired man.

'You can't order me around. That's not how you treat guests.'

Levi’s mouth set firmly.

'Listen, tadpole. You’re mistaken. You are not my guest.'

'Oh yeah? What am I then?' Eren demanded, pointing to himself furiously. 'What am I to you? Just say it.'

Levi didn't answer him and instead, held out a towel. He remained rooted to his spot, neither giving in nor backing out.

Eren rolled his eyes and refused to take the towel.

'Yeah, figured you'd come up with nothing. If you want to boot me out, go ahead.'

Levi gave a long, suffering sigh.

'Get showered,' he said. 'Don't make this difficult.'

Eren scoffed. 'Difficult for you, you mean.'

The boy wished he hadn't said it; he wished he hadn't pushed his luck. Because the teenager heard a low growl. Levi's hand caught his elbow in a vice like grip, and Eren found himself being jerked into the bedroom. Despite resisting hard, despite his volley of kicks and curses, the brunet was dragged mercilessly through the room and while the sight of the bed made him wonder, if Eros had finally heard his prayers, that some rough sex was on the charts, the dream was short-lived, and Eren was thrown into the bathroom. The door closed shut, the message loud and clear.

'Hey!' Eren bellowed, fuming. 'HEY! You can't treat a human being this way!'

Eren heard the footsteps departing and for a brief second, wondered if he'd offended that guardian of his. 'Hey! Let me out! This is not fair, NOT FAIR AT ALL!' he yelled, banging his fist on the door. This whole situation reminded him of an old memory, of the first time he’d met Levi. But no sooner did the memory strike him, Eren heard the steps return. Eren put some space between himself and the door just to be on the safer side. What would the man do next? Force him into the bathtub? Push him under the shower? To his surprise, the door arched open and a pale hand held out the towel and a funny looking soap.

Eren regarded the outstretched hand with suspicion.

He heard a 'tch' from the other side of the door.

'Are you going to make me wait here all day?' Levi asked. 'Take a shower; it will cool you down.'

The boy stared at the towel.

Eren bit into his lip.

'I don’t need cooling down,' he protested weakly.

'Right. You are a bag of sunshine and rainbows, we all get it.'

Eren considered the outstretched hand and then looked about the shower. Giving up the fight, he accepted the offering, albeit reluctantly. The door closed, but the teenager never heard the man walk away.

Eren looked at the towel in his hand.

'Hey Corporal,' he called.

The answer came slow.

'What?'

Eren grinned, despite himself. He was beginning to feel snarky, and he decided if he was going to be treated as a brat, he ought to have the liberty to act like one.

'You don't have to keep guard, sir. Or are you hoping for a peek?'

There was a small pause, and Eren heard the man chuckle.

'Trust me, Jaeger. You have the sex appeal of a diseased slug. I’m not touching something I haven't even quarantined yet.'

The words stung. It figured that Levi didn’t understand how Eren felt about him. The teenager felt his throat go dry and after a moment of deliberation, he nodded along.

'Right. So, why are you here?' Eren asked him. 'You think I’m gonna run away?'

There was a pause, and the question lingered in the silence.

'No, you can't run anywhere,' the older answered softly.

Eren caught hold of his shirt and slipped it over his shoulders. 'Yeah? What makes you think that?' he challenged. 'I've broken into your home, and I sure as hell can break out,' vowed Eren with his natural tenacity.

There was another perceptive pause. The boy pulled in a deep breath and tugged the shirt over his head, and that was when he heard Levi's reply.

'You can't run anywhere… because you've got no place to go. Isn’t that right, Eren?'

The boy, who’d got entangled between the sleeves, froze. He turned to the door, casting it a long, furious glance. Wincing, Eren took off his clothes and balling them up, he tossed them into a corner.

He acknowledged the man with a chuckle.

'I have places. I have friends too, you know. People who treat me a lot better. People who know me better than you. So, don't pretend you know me,' griped Eren, striding over to the shower and placing himself under it. He turned the faucet on, Titan's plumbing getting the better of him, and before he could fix his mistake, Eren got doused with a rush of hot water. Letting out a yelp, he groped for the setting and changed it from hot to lukewarm, and then to cold. Cool his head, that's what everyone wanted him to do. He chanced a look at the closed door. The silhouette was still there; the figure outside showed no signs of leaving.

'You don't have to watch over me every minute,' he sputtered under the pouring water. 'I’m not a child,' he insisted.

There was a silence.

'Did something happen?' Levi asked.

Eren stood in the shower, going very still. He folded his arms defensively, naked and shivering. The chill of the water numbed him; he couldn’t even feel the ball of emptiness inside him anymore. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror.

'Nothing happened, sir,’ he answered loudly over the sounds of the shower. ‘Everything's going great.'

'You have a fat lip and a black eye. So, you're telling me you are alright?'

Eren feigned a laugh.

'Frank was mouthing off, and I let him have a piece of me. Life's never been better, Corporal. Never been better!'

Levi measured his words.

'That so?'

'Hell yeah.'

Eren squeezed his eyes shut, surprised at how adept he was at lying.

There was a pause.

'Good,' he heard Levi say.

 

 

 

He didn't want to admit it aloud. But the shower had helped. He felt a lot better and cleaner. Maybe even a little spoiled. When he walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and brown hair dripping wet, he found Levi in the balcony, looking at the night sky of Trost. Amid the pots of helumbary, his guardian was having his customary tea, holding the teacup by the rim and carrying that aura of calm and pensiveness with him wherever he went. It was a mesmerizing sight, and Eren tried to capture it in his memory.

Levi seemed to sense him and turned to glance at the bedroom. A faint crinkle of a smile appeared at the corner of his lips. Grey eyes met Eren's through the glass doors and lowered their gaze, poring over him for a brief second. There was a flicker in them, the slight widening of those pupils and Eren didn't know what the man had seen, but Levi turned rigid, looked away and took a feverish sip of his tea. He began shaking his head, mumbling something to himself.

'Hey,' called Eren, confounded by this reaction. 'What happened? What did I do now?'

His guardian turned to give Eren a pointed stare before tapping his watch.

If you want dinner, the man mouthed, directing the boy's attention to a set of folded clothes on the bed. Hurry up and get dressed.

Eren scowled back at him.

'You're weird,' said the teenager with a roll of his eyes.

 

 

 

It occurred to Eren that he was poor. He was used to thrift stores and keeping his needs limited. He didn’t have an Xbox, hoverboard or Jordans. But that is not to say he didn’t want those things.

Did he feel immensely poor sitting at the table of his guardian wearing the man’s pants and his shirt? Yes, but not for those reasons. Even though the pants he’d borrowed from Levi fell short of his ankles and his shirt was loose on Eren’s lithe frame, the boy felt poor because for all of Levi’s care, he had nothing to offer back.

A thought tugged at the back of his mind. Of a woman banging away on the door of a basement. Eren pressed his eyes shut, trying to block out that memory. He tried hard but knew he was failing to keep his shit together.

His guardian had already noticed he wasn’t eating. But the man didn’t put forward the question of _why_ yet. So Eren turned to his plate, the food that Levi had prepared for him resolving into focus. He took a bite of the strange hash of salad, vegetables— indigenous to the land and some exotic meat. Strange enough, this alien food tasted a lot better than noodle cups or the gruel they served in the corps.

‘This is… good,’ Eren mumbled between mouthfuls. ‘Different but good.’

Levi looked up at him.

‘Trying to flatter me?’

Eren bit back a smile and averted his gaze.

‘No, saying it as it is.’

Levi didn’t say anything but acknowledged Eren with a nod.

There came a lull in conversation.

Krobe sat at Eren’s foot, sniffing at his toes and looking tempted to take a bite of him. But it behaved, and Eren wondered if Levi had something to do with Krobe’s good behavior. He cast a furtive glance at the man, studying him in the silence.

So why did Levi bring Eren to his home?

Out of pity?

His sense of duty?

How long till he too got tired of Eren?

 

 

 

 

Later that night, after a hundred and one threats and a constant reminder of the do's and do not's of Rivaille Levi's household, Eren was directed to the couch.

'Here's the deal,' said Levi. 'You'll be sleeping here. And by here, I do mean HERE. Are we clear?'

Eren gave a grumpy nod.

Levi turned to Krobe, who had long lost the urge to prove its territorial rights and was scratching its ears.

'And you, shithead,' said Levi, making the droid sit up in attention. 'Guard him. Make sure he doesn't leave the perimeter of this room. If he tries anything funny, you are entitled to bite him. Got it?'

Eren looked insulted at having to be guarded by a dog. Especially by that puny, poor excuse of a—

'Jaeger!'

Eren snapped to attention.

'Yes?'

Levi sized him up, his eyes narrowing. 'Kick my dog, and you'll be the first to get booted out. Are we clear, trooper?'

'Y-Yes. I think I got that already.'

'Sir,' came the amendment.

'Yes, I think I got that already, _sir_.'

'Steal my things, and I'll make sure Shadis gives you toilet duty for the whole of next term. Got that?'

Eren forced a nod.

'Right.'

Levi walked towards his bedroom, unbuttoning his grey shirt as he went. He stopped in his tracks.

'One more thing. Under no circumstance, are you allowed to enter my room.'

Eren smiled at that.

'You sure? What if there is a fire, sir?'

Levi humored him with a half-smile.

'In case of an emergency, save yourself. I'll manage.'

Eren's smile only grew wider, and Levi was glad to see a bit of the old spirit.

'What if something goes wrong with your dog? Accidentally, of course...'

Levi considered the teenager from the entrance to his bedroom.

'Rest assured, brat, anything happens to Krobe… I'll find you first.'

Eren scowled, turning serious.

'And what if I gotta pee?'

Levi shrugged.

'Hold it in until morning.'

Eren glared back, looking revolted at the suggestion.

'C’mon, that's impossible! I can't control the way my bladder works. You are plain mean!'

Levi shrugged again as he retired to his bedroom.

'I _am_ mean. Not going to deny it.'

 

* * *

 


	5. Passion

 

Chapter-5-Passion

~.~

 

Levi woke up to a most curious sensation. The feel of something small sprawled on his chest. He ran his hand over the lump. Metal, his senses concluded. The body of a... he jolted awake when the thing snapped its jaws around his wrist. Under the neon lights, Levi found himself face to face with a mean looking puppy. Its red bulbous eyes glimmered back at him in the darkness. Sighing deeply, he rolled over and sat up against the headboard, upsetting the dog's foothold. Krobe jumped onto the covers, looking crankier than before. The last time he'd seen the droid so agitated was when he'd brought home a juicer. (Nothing pissed off a droid more than household appliances.)

'—What's wrong with you?' Levi grumbled at the dog and cast a disgruntled look at the balcony. The view through the glass doors was pitch-dark, and Trost's night sky seemed to swallow everything in sight. It was eerie to see the city sleeping while he was wide awake, tending to a twitchy droid. Levi watched the view outside and tried to discern the hour. At times, a renegade aircraft would cut through the space, drifting between buildings like a solitary ranger. Some unlucky chap working the night shift, he assumed.

Before he could seek the assistance of Gale and ask for the time, Levi felt a tug on his sleeve. Krobe had caught the fabric of his shirt and was tugging at it. At Levi's questioning look, it wagged its tail and pointed its snout towards the door.

Levi watched the doorway in silence. The house was quiet... quiet enough to hear the clicks of the network and the air conditioning switching modes. On hindsight, he began to wonder why he had left the door open.

Beside him, Krobe grew impatient and tugged at his cuff again.

'What is it, metalhead? I told you to keep an eye on the brat, not fondle me in the mid-'

Levi didn't finish the sentence, his grey eyes widening a little.

'Shit,' he muttered. 'Don't tell me he ran away.'

He got out of bed and slipped out of the bedroom briskly. He didn't need to look far. For there was the boy sleeping on the couch. Levi stopped in his tracks, a wave of relief hitting him. Even in the semi darkness, he could see the tuft of brown hair extended over the arm rest. The shutters were pulled up and against the backdrop of Trost's night was the boy from Earth.

Still here.

Yes, Levi thought. Still here.

He turned to Krobe, who was lounging on the floor and scratching its ears in innocence.

Levi sent a glare towards it. He picked up the dog and stared into its dopey face.

'You cry wolf again–' he hissed. '–and I’m not going to change your batteries next time, you hear me?'

Krobe gave a small, indignant bark and sank its razor-sharp teeth into his cuff again. It gave a wriggle and motioned its snout towards the couch again.

'He's here, craphead,' hissed Levi. 'What's wrong with your optic sensors? Can’t you see him?'

Krobe growled in answer.

Levi rolled his eyes. Taking the mutt into the fold of his arms, he proceeded to show Krobe that his ward aka boy-wonder aka pain-in-the-ass was still here: alive, safe and sound. With gentle strides, he walked around the couch, his steps muffled against the rug, and he held out the sight to Krobe.

'See, dumbo?' whispered Levi. 'Brat's right here... ' he turned to the couch and went still.

True. There was the sight of Eren Jaeger.

Right where Levi had left him.

Alive, safe and sound.

And crying.

The boy had an elbow curled over his face. He was biting into his bruised lip, trying to keep quiet and failing at it miserably. Levi heard a sniffle and saw a shudder run through the boy's shoulders.

And there was stillness.

The older man stood quiet, his gaze flitting around the room but always finding its way back to Eren. He decided to set Krobe down and watched it leave them. Having done its duty, the droid disappeared into the long corridor, probably in pursuit of Eren's socks to make a chewtoy of. On the bright side, there was nothing wrong with the droid. If only Levi could say the same about the boy.

He turned to Eren again, not knowing what to say... or if he should even say anything. He could walk away, pretend he never stumbled on this private moment. Pretend this kid didn't exist. It would be easy. As easy as the mask of indifference he wore all the time. Eren wouldn't blame him either, Levi knew. And that was the whole trouble with the kid. In the end, Eren was still a boy forced to grow up sooner than he should have. A boy trying to put on a brave front for the rest of the world.

'Nothing happened, huh?' said Levi in his deep, calm voice.

The tears ceased. Eren cleared his throat, but the elbow showed no signs of unmasking the face.

'Can you leave? Like go away?' asked Eren, his voice sounded hoarse and parched.

Levi didn't.

'Please,' urged Eren.

The guardian stood his ground.

'I can, trooper. I can walk away right now. But I won't.'

Eren tried to say something but broke into a series of coughs instead. He pulled his elbow away and wiped his nose against the sleeve of his borrowed shirt.

'Look,' the boy spoke wearily. 'I don't want to talk right now. Especially to _you.'_

Levi kept his gaze fixed on the brown head.

'Why?' he asked.

'Fuck you,' snapped the boy. 'You're not my guidance counselor. Go AWAY!'

Levi took a deep breath, forcing himself to be patient. He turned to look out the window. In the long shadows of the night, a network tower blinked steadfast. There was a reason why he'd picked this spot for the teenager to sleep. The view of Trost at night was undoubtedly a sight to behold. But it wasn't the real reason why Levi had pushed the couch to face the window. Why did he do it, he stopped to wonder. Why did it matter to him what side Eren woke up on? Since when did this brat mean more to him than beyond the call of duty? Perhaps the answer had been with him all along. 

Levi made up his mind and turned back to the despondent figure on the couch.

'If you don't want to talk, it's alright. But you can listen.'

'I don't want to!'

Levi clucked his tongue over the boy's protests.

'I didn't give you a choice, trooper.'

At those words, Eren pulled himself up and sat straight, the blanket pooling around his legs. He bared his teeth at the guardian, seething like an injured beast. 'I'm not a kid! You _can’t_ order me around like that!'

Levi's lips curled into a smile.

'Alright, I won't. But now that I have your attention, we can have a heart to heart talk.'

Eren scoffed.

 _'Heart?'_ the boy echoed in disgust and shook his head. ‘That’s big coming from you.’

There was a silence. The teenager bit his lower lip, feeling just a little remorseful over what he'd said and the tone he'd used with it. Much to his surprise, the older man let the remark slide. Levi sank on his haunches, stern grey gaze seeking out the boy's eyes. The peacekeeper watched him cautiously.

'I don't know what's bothering you, Eren. But whatever it is… it's not the end of the world. Trust me.'

Silence hung in the wake of those words. Eren locked his arms around his knees and glared at the shadows of the apartment. Even in the dark, his blue green eyes blazed with fire. It was a look Levi couldn’t pull away from. There was that passion. The need to prove. The yearning to be recognised and most importantly, the desire to be stronger. Eren Jaeger was _always_ in a hurry to grow up. 

'Not the end of the world, huh?' the boy repeated with a shake of his head. 'What do you know?' Eren said, sliding a palm over his chest and letting out a snort. His face changed, overwhelmed by a sense of despair. 'They're going to take away my house, sir. They're going to take away my fucking _home._ And now, people want to send away my mom too. She's the only one I've got. The ONLY ONE!' he stressed, hands curling tightly around his knees. The boy rocked himself in the silence that followed, afraid to see the expression on his superior's face. 'She's sick, you know,' his voice when it emerged was close to a whimper. 'She's been sick for a long time. She's lonely, and you'd think people would understand. But no, nobody... NOBODY gives a crap about anybody. All they want is to send her away. Because she's become a nuisance. They call her loony. Unstable. 'Institutionalize her', he mimicked, finger quoting the catchphrase. 'But I won't do it. So, screw them. Screw ALL of them.'

Eren shook in his spot, eyes wide and shallow, the rant leaving him breathless.

He risked a glance at the older man and found his guardian watching him with that strange, unreadable expression of his.

Eren let out a mock laugh.

'Go ahead,' he implored. 'Call me sentimental. Laugh at me. That's what Frank did when I came back. Nobody gets it. Least of all, you Titans.'

Levi didn’t say a word.

Eren turned distraught at his silence.

'Say _something,_ dammit,' the boy demanded.

The older returned a small nod.

'You're angry,’ he observed with a sigh. ‘I get it. You have a right to be. I can see that too. But it's not helping you, kid.'

Eren shook his head bitterly.

'No, sir. You’re so wrong about that! It does help me. It helps me a whole lot. It's exhilarating when I can give the assholes a taste of their own medicine. Make them feel a pinch of the hurt that I feel. Show them that I can be mean too. I trashed their cars, you know. Frank is in the infirmary because of me. And I don't regret _any_ of it. They deserved it. They _all_ did. Fuck the greeting card company. Being mean feels GOOD.'

Levi stood up and rose to his height, grey eyes never leaving Eren.

'Does it?' he challenged.

Eren turned to stare at him, heaving a little.

'Yeah.'

Levi watched him.

'You sure?'

Eren regarded the man in contempt.

'What else do you want me to say?'

'Admit the truth.'

'I _am_ telling you the truth.'

Levi shook his head.

'No, you aren't. That's not the truth. You’ve never been good at lying, Eren.'

Eren blinked and averted his gaze.

'I don't know what you are talking about.'

Levi leaned against the shutters.

‘You're running from the truth, Earthborn. Your problem is not the world, Eren. Not your mother going away. Nor your home being snatched from you. It's something else, isn't it?'

Eren rolled his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face.

‘With all due respect, sir, you know nothing about me.'

Levi let out a thoughtful hum.

‘No, I _do_ know you. The kid I watched over for three years _never_ runs away. I’m certain of it,' Levi vowed. 'The Eren I know is a troublemaker, but he isn’t a wimp, not by a long shot. Nor does he have a mean streak. Even if he missteps, he circles right back to fixing those mistakes. That’s the Eren I know. Kid with his heart in the right place. But watching you now… if I didn’t know better, I’d say you are scared shitless. Scared of being alone,' he said. 'Aren't you?'

Eren opened his mouth and tried protesting it.

'Bull shit. You don't know me at all. I'm _not_ scared. I’ve been plenty alone all my life. I...'

A fresh wave of tears started streaming down the teenager's face.

Levi returned a small smile.

'There's your answer, trooper.'

There was some truth in the old saying. That when it rained, it poured. Eren rubbed his nose into his sleeve, sniffling loudly into the silence.

'Some mean kid you're turning out to be,' he heard the older man remark.

Eren took in a deep breath. 'Fuck you, go gloat somewhere else,' he finally said. 'Yeah... I’m alone. So, what?'

The boy forced himself to look at the ceiling and folded himself into a ball. He wiped his face furiously against his sleeve, trying to regain some semblance of dignity. In the small lapse of time, he didn't hear Levi move.

A hand reached for his shoulder. Another caught his chin, forcing Eren to turn.

In the dark sober night of Titan, amidst the clicking of the network and the steady strum of air-conditioning, he felt Levi's lips press a kiss against his. Their noses bumped, and Eren felt his guardian's hands clasp his face, fingers grazing his earlobes, his nape and the man’s thin lips ghosting warmly over his bruised ones. It hurt. It felt pleasant and made every emotion numb inside him.

Levi whispered something against his lips that night.

Words he'd been waiting long for someone to say.

'Not alone. I’m here.'

 

 

 

The next morning when he woke up, it was to a sight he'd never seen before. A sight he'd never come across despite his three-year stint in training. Trost's skyscrapers lined up just right to give Eren a fleeting view of Titan's sunrise.

Sunshine, they seemed to greet him.

The tears had run dry, Krobe was at his feet whining from a heavy dinner. Nothing had changed; the universe was still cold and ruthless.

But Eren knew something had changed.

 

* * *

 


	6. Nova

 

Chapter-6- Nova

~.~

 

 

 

The next morning, Levi walked into the living room and found it, much to his dismay, empty. No sign of the boy and no sign of his deputy in command. He cursed mildly under his breath, ready to call for Gale's assistance when he heard a tragic sounding whine emerge from the supplies cupboard.

The man with the undercut sighed and proceeded to rescue a very disgruntled droid from the clutches of the closet. Krobe was delighted to see its rescuer. The droid regaled him with licks and barked at its master in gratitude, wagging its tail.

A tail, which had a roll of paper taped to it unceremoniously.

The guardian caught hold of the tail.

Having his share of misgivings, Levi detached the paper from the hyperactive dog and unrolled it.

It was a short note. The boy's handwriting was hardly legible as if he'd jotted down the message in a hurry.

 

* * *

 

_Levi,_

_Before you say anything, yep, your dog deserved it._

_And I made up my mind. I’m going back. Not because of the stuff you said. Not because you were right. I still hate you. You are a quasi-Napolean (read him up); you can be a convincing asshole too, and you say whatever the hell you want._

_But thanks._

_Thanks for your clothes, your food._

_For everything._

_Yours_

_(hopefully)_

_Eren_

_(Still not sorry about the dog)_

_PS: Next time I stay over, you can have your way with me._

* * *

 

 

Levi folded the note and pocketed it, suppressing a smile. He paused to look down at Krobe, who was latched on to Eren's sock, venting its fury on it.

'He's getting feisty, isn't he?' Levi asked the droid.

Krobe perked one ear up.

'No kidding,' it seemed to say.

 

 

 

 

 

On a wintry evening in November, Eren sat on the front porch of his house with his legs folded under him. He was wrestling with duct tape and a cardboard box, which had been crudely marked as collectibles when a whistle at the gate made him look up.

And there was Hannes, a friendly face greeting him with a smile.

'Yo,' said Hannes with a wave.

Eren raised an eyebrow.

'Whoa. Aren't you supposed to be on patrol?' the boy said.

Hannes sighed as he slipped past the gates and ventured in to join the boy on the porch. He took the spot beside Eren and stretched his arms with a grimace.

'Look'ere, you upright kid. I know how to do my job, alright? And for your kind information, I just got off a twelve-hour shift plus had to give a motivational speech at a road awareness seminar.'

Eren drew close and sniffed the air around Hannes suspiciously.

'How many of those twelve hours were spent at the pub, old man?' Eren jabbed at him. 'You reek of alcohol.'

Hannes pulled a face.

'Alright, alright, maybe I had a drink. One or two, nothing more.'

'One or two?' Eren asked skeptically as he began chopping strips of duct tape.

The officer hunched over and peered at the box's contents. He reached in and pulled out a figurine of Dr Octopus, a dude with many spindly little arms. Looking baffled at it, he reached in and took out another. Batman, said the engraving on the figurine’s back. There was also Ironman, this one Hannes recognized easily from TV.

'You've still got these toys? How old are you?'

'Hey. Give that back!' said Eren tartly. 'No one gave you permission to touch them. And they're not toys. They are collectibles. Years down the line, they're going to fetch me a fortune.'

'Uh huh?' asked Hannes, picking up a half-dressed figure of Wonder Woman. It was his turn to sound skeptic.

'Damn right,' stressed the boy as he went back to packing.

'So, you are taking these to your dorm, huh?' Hannes trailed. The police officer turned to look at the house, at the empty porch, the barren clothes line, the hallway and the eviction notice on the front door. A breeze bristled through the sycamore trees in the garden, the susurrus of their leaves filling the air. The silence was heavy, and he knew it was hardest on the boy. A week before, Eren had admitted his mother in Stanley Memorial. It wasn't an easy decision, Hannes knew. He had seen the teenager promise his mother that he'd always be nearby. That she didn't have anything to worry about.

'So, you'll be at Uni... Carla at the hospital. That's gonna be a long step away. I’m going to miss you, kid. Both you and Carla. It won't be the same without you guys.'

The boy froze at those words.

Breaking into a small, reluctant smile, Eren nodded.

'Yeah, I am gonna miss you too, Hannes. Don't DUI on me, old man. Wait till I am outta college.'

Hannes chuckled at the joke. He reached into the cardboard box and took out another strange looking toy. _Ouch_ , figurine, he corrected. It was a man with one foot forward, wearing a strange black and white dotted face. His clothes were also bizarre, for he wasn’t dressed in spandex but a fedora and a trench coat. And he was holding a sign.

The End is Nigh.

'Hah,' Hannes chuckled to himself. 'Who's this weirdo?' the man asked, wondering if he could separate the signboard from the figure’s tiny ass grip.

'Whoa!' Eren warned, eyes widening. 'Careful, it's a one piece. And come on, he is not a weirdo. His name is Rorschach.'

'Raw Shark?' Hannes quipped.

'Not a shark. R.O.R.S-' Eren caught the man struggling to keep a straight face and so the boy sighed. 'You know what, never mind.'

Hannes looked from the 'toy' (shit, _figurine_ ) and turned back to Eren, deciding to humor the boy.

'So, what can this guy do?' he enquired, just to be polite. Hannes tapped the fedora of the Raw Shark dude.

Eren, who had been wrestling with an adroit piece of duct tape, looked up puzzled. 'Huh?'

The unshaven police officer examined the figurine, turning it over and upside down.

'I mean... What's his special power? I’ve seen the movies. The bat dude has the money. Metal man has the suit. Dr Octopus has ... many arms. What about this one?'

Narrowing his eyes, Eren wrenched the figurine from him and looked at it warmly.

'Rorschach doesn't have any superpowers. He's just an ordinary guy... who saves people.'

To Eren's disbelief, the scrubby old bard had stopped listening. The man was looking up at the sky, distracted by something. Hannes caught Eren's head and pointed at the sky fervently. 'Look!' he grinned.

'Ow, look at what?'

Hannes scrunched up his face, trying to remember.

'It’s that thing. A shooting star!'

'It's a meteorite, Hannes. Come on, old man, even six-year olds know that.'

Hannes scratched his stubble and relented.

'Fine, braniac, it's your meteorthing. Now, will you look at it?'

Eren didn’t say a word and glanced up at the sky over Sylvan. He managed to catch a glimpse of Hannes’s meteor and the blazing tail it was leaving in the void. The sight was breathtaking. Hannes let out a low, appreciative whistle.

'You know Eren, these metorthingajigs make you feel philosophical. They make you really wonder... how small we are. That, we may not be alone in this big, fat universe, eh?'

The brown haired boy watched the smoky trail grow bleak.

A meteor.

Where was it going? How far had it travelled? Where had it come from? He smiled and wondered if it had met a certain pokerfaced guardian of his.

'Yeah,' said Eren. 'Not alone.'

 

 

* * *

 


End file.
